Angry, party of 1…

I truly do not recall the last time I felt so appalled, disgusted, and attacked but, overwhelmingly thankful, simultaneously. Watching Katz’s film Tough Guise 2 was incredibly painful. I chose to write about this movie because forced me to acknowledge a form of privilege I have experienced in my life – one that I have often taken for granted. I was raised by my grandparents in a stereotypically affluent town in South Florida, in a home without gender roles. I was taught autonomy and freedom and I learned respect and admiration for women – from my grandfather. The other men in my immediate family, my maternal uncles were also not outwardly patriarchal in their actions or in the way I saw them navigate their lives. I never knew how lucky I was. My grandmother worked long after my grandfather retired from IBM and he made sure when she came home dinner was ready. He did the laundry and took care of house chores in equal proportion, from what I remember. Well – my grandma did do all the ironing and Pop cleaned the pool pump.

My point here comes with a small dose of shame – I never fully realized what was happening around me, and continues to happen in society, because I was not directly affected by male masculinity in perverse and catastrophic ways. As Katz showed time and time again, it is EVERYWHERE. Also, throughout my life, I have avoided violent movies with too much blood and gore  Iand didn’t get into hemegonic and anger based video games…now I know why – it’s gross and makes me uncomfortable, just as Katz’s movie did. There were alarming and eye opening facts I learned of which I do have frequent conversations about in my adult life – 61 of 62 mass shooters are men…mental illness is not the only problem when it comes to why shooters act…guns are not the problem.

We have come a long way as a society but the truth of the matter is we have a long way to go. Though the movie was really tough for me to watch, I am glad I did and I feel it should be a requirement for young boys and men around the country. If only there were a way to make education the true priority it should be in our society.