Most all of my family is chosen…

I remember the first time I found the idea of communal living incredibly intriguing – I was in my mid 30s, living in Philadelphia and I was lucky enough to have a circle of friends I chose to call my family. We were inseparable. We would often sit around and talk about buying a few acres, building some tiny homes, and a mega-sized common space. We’d have a massive kitchen with everything you’d need to make gourmet meals…a game room…a theatre – most importantly – a massive garden and a few animals. I was their chosen family and they were mine. We were rethinking family in the late 2010s.

This section of reading: Rethinking the Family brought up a lot of emotions for me. It saddened me at moments, thinking about how patriarchy began it’s damage long before anyone realized what was happening. It made me feel joy when it talked about the shift in family dynamics over the past 6-7 decades and the fact that it highlighted LGBTQPAI+ issues warmed my heart. Not only do I come from a very small nuclear family; I am also one of 6 lesbian/gay persons in my immediate family – to patriarchy, I say - rethink the likelihood of that! The strongest thing I felt from this reading was reading “…Nair reframes family as people and animals we choose to bring close us, build intimacies with, and become “familiars,”. (Saraswati, 189) Familiars…what a beautiful word that for me holds inevitable truth.

Saraswati, L. Ayu, et al. Introduction to Women's, Gender and Sexuality Studies. Oxford University Press Academic US, 2020.